I feel as though there is no purpose, we are here but don’t seem to do much. I have friends but never seem to get to see them or spend any real time with them. MSN can only go so far. I want someone to love, and a family to grow with me and it sucks cos I’m so terrified to show who I am that nothing gets done. I got hurt a few years back and I don’t think I ever recovered.
So I am alone, here 🙂 in this world, waiting for things to happen. I join in on different things and just seem to injure myself instead. I never seem to do what is right and no-matter how things are I feel its just wrong.
The world around me, friends, family and even co-workers getting on in a world where I am but am not at the same time. I exist, but as a believer should not be involved in things that they do or think I don’t understand because of what I believe.. I feel an outcast even with friends for some of the ideas I have about the world and how the spirit world also works.
On one site I have over 150 apparent friends on there and most of them I can say are friends, or at least associates – some of my best friends are not on there yet – I say best, probably better put as closest I think… but even with 100+ friends I feel just here… a leaf floating down a river – many of us there but still all alone flowing through life.
We seem to play within the space We’ve been alocated and float with the groups that were involved with but can’t seem to grip onto what we want and don’t know how to change it but want to at the same time.