I’ve had a good day today, A time with differnt groups of friends – Good Food, entertainment, and friendship. I seem to get on with the kids which is great fun… I call kids little monsters because they seem to run round and cause havoc everywhere… and with me that seems their aim.
From what i’ve noticed the TV is a great control method from super hyperactive kids to semi zombies entertained by the box of light and sound. An 18 month year old is different – The box only entertains for maybe minutes if not seconds before it runs round or jumps on you.
After the attack of the monsters I went to see other friends further up the road and chatted loads and chilled. I’ve had a good day so a good start to the year for me 🙂
I reckon the key to being happy is to being real. Not putting on a front as such but being honest with & about ourselves & before God. I cannot honestly say i am happy in life & responsibility for that lies mainly with myself, but it also lies in the actions of other people too which span an awful long period of time.
It is the easiest thing in the world to make out that your happy when in reality your heart feels like its being ripped out. I too have felt on occasions (even recently) where i felt there was no point in going on & have contemplating disappearing as i feel that i wouldnt be missed.
I feel i have failed God & let a lot of people down & that weighs very heavily on my heart. I feel unloveable & unnattractive to women & that distresses me in a big way. I see other people making massive headway in life & achieving great success but i feel i am where i was 20 years ago. Probably sounds ungrateful but thats me being real!..