I plus many of my friends would call me a Christian – Believing that Christ died for my sins those 2000+ years ago, That the father (God), Jesus and Holy spirit are all together as one entity. I’ve always wondered How, but never questioned why and just accepted it as truth althou a feeling of a niggle (something inside not seeming right) was always there.

I don’t know what I believe anymore – But when faced with a posability of the end of life, the hope was there that its all true and for a few seconds nothing said to me could proove it as wrong… Is it that wanting to believe in something that is good when you think the conciquences could be so much worse if you didn’t shape what you believe – I don’t know anymore.

I can honestly say i’ve not always been a great person for going to church, I go semi-regular in like spurts – go a few weeks in a row, don’t go – on and off weeks. I still see friends from these places most weeks and enjoy the company but can’t say that I feel the community that advertised by much of the churches outreach activities but maybe i’m just not seeing something – you tell me.

I think my time is going to be a journey, where it takes me I hope not alone but have to accept it if I am the journey will happen even if I don’t want it too.

Should I just sit back, trust in God that all will be OK and let it go and see what happens.

Something that always confuses me – to sit and trust when we also have to do something.