I must look a certain way, I must be fit, I must not be over weight, I need to get fitter, thinner, more flexible, healthier – I must.. I must…

This expectation of the world we live in that if you don’t fit an image, then you don’t fit anything. I know that I struggle with the thoughts that I could get fat and overweight althou according to guides I have a BMI of 22.1 which is almost perfect [22 is ideal] but still it feels wrong.

I try to get fit, I am currently doing trampoling each week – A very fun and energetic workout. I am careful on what I eat that I don’t generally have high fat based foods and generally make meals from fresh ingredients [they taste so much better].

I’ve tried ball room & Jive dancing – both quite energetic which suprised me and a lot of fun. I tried the gym, but didn’t have motivation… I occasionally go swimming but not as often as I’d like. I go on random walks from my house to wherever I end up.

I feel I must try and keep a certain outside view of myself althou in the reality of inner life it doesn’t matter too much. But we all want to be liked and appearance can often help greatly to sway opinion.