Up, Down – Where am I now?

Over the past 7 days I’ve had such a mixture of thoughts, feelings, and emotions I am not totally sure exactly how I feel or what I should be feeling.

Last sunday, I passed my assistant coaching exam for trampolining and from being nervous to calm, and completing it all I was full of joy for the next day or so. It felt like nothing could go wrong.

Then the moggy got more ill, and now has gone to moggy heaven. I will truelly miss him, He had been with us for 19 years and a half. Equivillent cat age apparently around 96. So a good age. He had heart problems, and now kidney failure so was put down – he seemed so unwell on tuesday when I went round. I fussed and hugged him for a while before home feeling he wasn’t going to last but didn’t want that to happen either.
I think that on wednesday when I found out, I was kinda expecting the bad news and had started to prepare for it. I still don’t know what to do with that part of life. It doesnt seem real – I go round my parents place where he lived, and look for him or listen and then remember – things just look so big now, places where his stuff was and is no more – so bare. I often think of him from being a little kitty to playing only a few months ago.

All in all, very sad and upset. I talk/write a lot more when I’ve strong feelings as its the only way I really know how to get through them.

Friday was a great night, I made a lot of friends from people i’ve seen for weeks. I went to a salsa social night – at first it looked to be an awful night but got better and better. The weekend so far had been quite relaxing and i’m starting to get things done that I’ve wanted.

The week has definitly been a mixed week, I’ve had a LOT of Great Joy and Great Sadness – now, it just seems normal but with memories and feelings mixing it all up – one sec joy, then sad. How will the rest of the week be… I honestly do not know. I am glad I don’t really know everything already – I think life would be boring and tedious if I didn’t get to learn anything.