Not truelly here

Some time ago, its hard to think when it all really started I became very stressed and all of a sudden got the feeling that I wasn’t truely really here. I have basically had this feeling ever since, but because it has been so long, I tend to forget about it, but then sometimes I realise that I’ve still got it, which frightens me.

It is very hard to explain, but I feel as though I am detached from people, as though I am living in my head. It is as though I have a veil in front of my eyes that separates me from people. My vision is not affected, but sometimes things feel very dreamy.

I have to really concentrate on things happening before me. It almost feels as though my brain is separate from my body.

Most friends would say I was normal, just like everyone else but in reality I hide myself behind that person so that people don’t see the real me and althou I want people to see and accept me I don’t want to be rejected either.

So when it all gets difficult, and I am ignored I disappear into the dream like world where I can control whats going on while continuing this life… Its like living two simultanious lives at once. I can’t say I’m unhappy in life, just wanting more from it.