How great is the idea of NHS Spine…..

I read about how “great” and “awful” it is the idea of the NHS Spine, and all information being online and can understand why people can worry about it all. I’m not sure about it myself.

I think about some of the information stored about us already: every bank transaction is recorded – if you miss payments on anything its recorded, if your on or not on the electoral register, your credit cards limits and how much you have on things.

Think credit reports – many accounts that you’ve had in past or currently be it gas/electric, loans, bank accounts, credit cards, aswell as any other credit costs and wherever you’ve lived and had some sort of money related instance be it mortgage or gas/phone/elec/water etc supplies.

Already there is a lot of information accessable via the internet, and what is a little more… Much is recorded via a National Insurance Number, or NHS number, or id code. Think passports – and how they are now linkable to your drivers licence. How long until one identifier for one person – assuming it doesn’t already exist.

Many people are now getting GPS in their phones, taking pictures (with GPS info hidden inside image) and publishing online – being tracked wherever they go… or is it just helping them find where they want to be. Lets go link the GPS tracker into everything else.

Health care – I can understand that it could be useful if you were taken to hospital and needed something that your allergies & current medication could be considered easier. However, I can’t see how you can give permission to someone while in the point of an emergency and your meant to give permission to people to access your summary record (I think).

Its just another thing to be tracked to your id – Get a routine blood test to check for “lithium levels, B12, folate, HB1AC, U & E,INR,LFT, DNA, STIs, etc” and recorded down to your id.

Its not as though your health records are already recorded online somewhere, like when you change doctors and all records are moved between practices. Everything goes through a central health authority – but its not like they know where your registered, where you live, your NHS number, etc – I mean they never see the records do they? They can’t already be online can they and just coming to public knowledge?

But its just talk – that could never really happen could it?

Lucid Dreams of Sorts

For a while now, I’ve been able to do lucid dreaming – the ability to conciously take control of aspects within an unconcious state (dreaming) and change/modify to my liking – the realisation that your dreaming and most of the time taking control of the situations. Its something I love to do, and often feel more rested the next day. It allows me to work through issues, problems, and sometimes play out a situation – to see how it could possably happen.

One of the main things I seem to do, is fly – I love the freedom of being able to move up and cover vast distances with the thought of moving oneself through the air. Its strange that I usually only give the ability to myself, and not the many others around me. Many times its out of fear – trying to get away from something then realising that its a dream and knowing I can get away but what funner way of doing so than flying out of reach and zooming away or to something or someone.

I would encourage people to learn lucid dreaming, or developing the abilty to do so. Its not something I can do every night, or whenever I sleep and its something that seems to happen in cycles. For weeks I’ll be unable to even remember dreams then a week where I can control what could happen. I’ve seen many places on how I may do this whole idea of lucid dreaming and taking control but not totally sure how I learned it myself.

I seem to continue some dreams over many nights, often in a row – These are not always ones I control, but are often adventures that in the time of sleep seem to cover many weeks, to months in a night. To live a life of someone else in a week and then it changes and something else happens. But months, maybe years later it continues and I can remember all of the past and often realise its a memory from a dream and that I must be in a dream so I try changing things with thought… and things change and again I am in the controlling phase again.

Why not try it? It can be fun

Been to the dentist

Today I went to dentist for fillings, I’ve never really liked to go to the dentist – I don’t really know anyone that does. Anyhow, fillings today – they used 4 capsules of anesthetic – apparently thats a lot. The initial one just didn’t work well…

Am I becoming immune of sorts – I don’t think thats good… Its maybe why in the past I’ve had bad experiences – This is the only time I’ve had more than one injection for it, because when they were eventually numb I felt nothing really and thats not what I was expecting… To think in the past, I wasn’t actually numb to it all… well, I can understand why I disliked going so much.

A comment “you don’t eat many sweet things do you?” from the dental place… I wasn’t sure if it was sarcasm or not. Eating however is quite a challenge as now all the anisthetic has kicked in, half my tougue is numb, aswell as my mouth… its one way to stop you eating too much. I was told it should ware off in around 4 to 5 hours, usually 2 but not with that amount… Nice – well actually the dentist was nice even with the drilling etc

Standing for council

A mixture in with recent topics really… polotics… People I know have gone for MP and in Early May they got their position. Next year I will be standing for somewhere – wrote up some of my application forms to be sent in – they took a while. I don’t know where I’ll be standing but would think I would have a good chance to get it.

I’ve always just accepted that you should always help people, and helped with calls and re-directing things for years as you should. My plan – Help people if you can and do what you can, and keep people updated even if it seems nothing is happening – keep people informed and usually its helpful to the person who reported it. Simple – but quite effective – to see something happening and not just nothing then a result.. Its good to see progress.

So, I will be standing in the council next time there is local elections which I think is next year some time. Planning is already in progress. At present we are working on a website for myself and all of the others in the party in this area… Its growing slowly and should have something on it in the next few months or so. I like the idea of keeping people informed as I’ve always wanted to be informed… and since community sites are all the way at the moment – we may aswell take advantage of them while we know how to use them.

Lost contact, changed contact…

I, like many others try to keep in contact with people. I now seem to have many many contacts from all different aspecs of life including University, Trampolining, Spring Harvest, Church, IXth hour, close friends, polotics, aswell as family and others. I’ve not really kept in contact with people recently… its hard to find the time if I am going to get work done as well.

I find it quite difficult to keep up with all thats going on, facebook seems a nice idea to see a glimpse of whats happening and what people are up too and gives a point, reminder to some of the stuff to further ask questions about but also maybe shares a little too much details some times.

Recently I’ve cleared my contacts list from around 450+ to around 270 ish and still thats a lot of people. I got to thinking about all those people I had on there and If I was to meet them, would I stop and chat or just maybe smile and carry on. Many of the contacts were from school times, and even then I wouldn’t have really chatted with them – or called them a friend, so why keep them on the list. Initially I had many to be nosey – to see how people have changed since then and for many I’ve re-made good connections, and still making some connections now.

Blogs and stuff. Do you have one? I know I’m writing mine now. Its a place to express what I’m thinking or going through – to try and explain a bit about where I am coming from in life and share openly and easily. Leave me a message – tell me your link.

Many friends have blogs I’m aware of, but I’ve not really read any since March this year – I just stopped. There seemed so much happening that I didn’t have time to stop and read… and now to start from where I finished will take a while but i’ll catch up again.

I had not really updated mine for several months, althou still have loads to say. Having so many words, and images in my mind about all that is happening and that I can get involved with. Its an explosive time with the masses of information being processed… its all mixed up but still I want to share – be it via chat, text, email or something else – to express myself in a way thats just me.

Recently I’ve changed my phone plan – I get unlimited texts and around 100 minutes – I don’t think I’ve ever used all my minutes up that I get free with my phone, however have previously gone over on texts – hopefully that won’t happen anymore. Landline calls – I get them all free or at least included in the plan I’m on. Skype – that allows free calls too (of sorts) – Chatting on phone – something I’ve never really gotten on well with, but maybe something to try a bit more.

Website Divided

I’ve been seperating all my websites into different categories – there is the blogs, personal & friends sites, and the business sites. Everything is now sorted (eventually) and i’ve actually updated OJM Sites – Its only been needing updated for the past 2 or 3 years.

I’ve added a load of tutorials & help guides on there from how to use the cPanel, and extensions, to how to use Joomla & WordPress which I know some people on there use. Also if you know you have free webspace with me and have not recieved the newsletter I sent out – please contact me using the form on: – You may need to update some details to keep things working.

Friday Night Out :) Good Time.

On friday night I went to a friend from works engagement party and had a really good time. When ever I’ve been out at a work related night I’ve never drank – usually as I needed to drive home afterwards and thats never a mix I want to do. This night was different, Got dropped off and a taxi back later on – was a good plan and worked well.

I have a variety of drinks, usually either malibu or bacardi mixed with pepsi – not as great as coke cola but still worked well. I chose not to mix anything else and was thankful I didn’t. It was an enjoyable night, and was glad to be with friends.

After the engagement party, we headed into middlesbrough to one place that was quite crowded on linthorpe road. I enjoyed the music, but had stopped drinking – I know my general limits between having a good night, and having a good followed by bad night – seems I learned something else from uni after all.

We headed over to what used to be known as the purple onion in middlesbrough after about 30 minutes, and mixed in a wierd set of music – or at least wierd to me – it seemed as thou you had to be high on something more than alchol to “appreciate” the atmostphere – and a lot of people looked like they were on something. We had to pay £5 to get in – It was nice to see people, but we didn’t stay long.

The energy in the place just felt wrong, as thou we and everyone else was being sucked down a drain hole. Spiriling down into something out of place. Many were just going with the flow – others felt it very odd there too but I don’t think they saw it the same as I did.

A small group of us headed back to the other place, and enjoyed the rest of the night there. It was a lot less crowded now – I think many had moved on elsewhere after we had left. We enjoyed the rest of the night, Chatting, Dancing, Taking some really random photos, and some continued drinking althou according to facebook, seems that might have been a bad choice (hangovers).

The end of the night consisted of drinks being sold to some of the group, and then before them leaving the bar – the “security team” trying to throw people out immediatly. I think there is something in law saying that they have to give 20 mins or more drink up time after sales but never actually read that anywhere – just heard it in hearsay. However to sell a product that is unusable could probably be counted as an illegal sale or at least refundable as you were unable to use it but I’m not too sure.

We all got taxi’s home, and rested – some on Saturday were reporting on facebook that “they’ll never drink again” – maybe its just better to know when to stop… a semi-simple approach of when your drink is finished, wait 10 to 20 mins before getting another or having a swap: alchol then soft drink can work quite well too. All in all, a great time out and I’m glad that I chose to go.

Itching, addicted to chocolate n stuff

I’ve been feeling REALLY itchy all over since about 3pm yesterday – its difficult not to scratch but I can’t as last time, my nails went through the skin – the itching continued but hurt aswell…..

Now I see a prickly rash over my arms – actually one of many wierd things happening to me recently.

Nothing new taken – just happens sometimes for a few days – think its something in the air – like a hayfever reaction then it stops again for no reason – had that one before

I had a realisation of addiction to chocolate… I could feel myself eating chocolate, and more just eating it with no real effect or enjoyment of taste and then saw my self as thou I was above looking down at me while at the same time being the me, so kinda like an astral projection above watching things happen then suddenly pulling myself together.

There is also the realisation of things around me more – as thou time slows and you can notice things around that usually you’d pass and not notice… Its wierd and yet really kewl at the same time. I think its like dream logic time, where you could have slept for 20 minutes but have memories of hours passing

Questioned Existance

There is a lot on my mind at the moment, I worry over all sorts of little things – some that makes a difference – some that are just wierd things to worry about. I worry about money, incoming and outgoings… how will I pay for so much: Mortgage, loans, and just general maintenance and utilities. My health and fitness, along with image – and know that I am who I am from what I’ve done, or not done… I ask myself “Am I? I where I want to be in life?”

I question everything in my existance, as is it all pre-planned or do I have a choice in it all… I find my belief as true and yet conflicting at the same time. I know that God knows everything that can and does happen in advance and yet we have a choice, how is there a choice that we make if all days were pre planned… The choice was already known, so you followed without choice… Does everything happen for a reason…? Everything pre-planned – like a giant calculation that forms existance and we are just working it all out – day by day.

Some quotes about my thoughts from the bible:

Psalm 139:16: “Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; And in Your book were all written The days that were ordained for me, When as yet there was not one of them”

Ephesians 1:4-6 : “For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— 6to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves”

It is suggested in Genesis that God gave free will, a choice – for at the begginning to choose to eat or not to eat from the tree of knowledge so is there a choice or was it pre-determined as God knows all that the world would fall into darkness.

This question has always got me stuck… I’ve managed to understand the meanings in so much more, but this one – it always sticks me. Even from old and new testament both state the same style of thing… why it sticks – is it my logical mind thinking too much and trying to understand more than I should strive to do. Some people say “Everyone has a choice” and then also says “God knows everything”, and to me that contradicts itself.

I find it hard as I’m sure most people with beliefs do, and how to visualise it all.


Harvest is an event in the North East of England originally based at witton castle in county durham, but now based in Teesside. It is for young people to connect together for around a week, and get to know God in a different way.

I started to go to harvest in 1994, I was around 14 to 15 years old and went with the church I was with at the time called The Tab – I made so many new friends while I was there, and learned how worship could really be expressed by youth and not just hyms in church but actual music you could enjoy singing and dancing too. There was many games, seminars, and workshops of sorts – be it learning, how to put into action or having fun.

There used to be a game – a challenge between the villages of harvest. People were split into 4 colours of village depending on the area you came from in the North East.

The challenge was its a knock out – they played it each year until around 1998 and it has never been seen before. Basics of it was silly games that involved a lot of water – knockout with sticks with foam on ends pushing one another trying to make the other person fall or bobbing for items in buckets aswell as physical challenges but all in the idea of fun. I enjoyed it a lot.

I went to harvest as a participant til around 1999 (aged 19/20 ish) after which I joined the stewarding team. I initially joined because many of my friends were already part of the team, and we were hanging out already. When I started stewarding you still paid to go, a few years in they stopped charging staff and it was kind of just accepted. From this year, they’re asking people to put something towards costs which is understandable but they seem to be getting a lot less people volunteering now.

9 years of helping out stewarding – I’ve seen many ideas on how to work it, how to help and what has or has not worked. People do seem to be repeating past things and don’t often believe its been done before – or not done as the circumstance often is. This year, 2010 I am not doing the stewarding at harvest, I’ve enjoyed my time there but its time to move on like so many friends already have.

Last year (2009) I was on stewarding team primarily, and ministry team secondary – I learned a lot, or so it felt so. People suprised me and opened up and it was good. It is time for me to do something different.

I am not sure what this year I will be doing at harvest if anything, I’d like to go and see how it is without being on the staff side althou I am not sure that is even possable. I think I will apply to be on the ministry team once again so I can help out, but also enjoy the site and see things before ending.

I feel it may be my last year helping out there, and this saddens me as it is an event that has helped me for a long time, over half my Christian life, and about half my actual life. Its helped me meet with many like minded people and has been very enjoyable but just as last year was my last year to steward, this may be the last to help before I am just a visitor.

All in all, Harvest has been amazing for me – so many new friendships and many ups and downs. Enjoyment from wandering, talking, playing, and listening. Its been a good time in life that I am glad I’ve had the oportunity to have.

Some people I made friends with in 1996, I was working with on team in 2005ish – we all said to one another – I know you, but I don’t know how? From photos I found later in the year, I discovered we’d all hung out together as one random group in a tent for a few days one harvest – some 10 years ish earlier but had lost contact – well before internet and email was the norm.