Questioned Existance

There is a lot on my mind at the moment, I worry over all sorts of little things – some that makes a difference – some that are just wierd things to worry about. I worry about money, incoming and outgoings… how will I pay for so much: Mortgage, loans, and just general maintenance and utilities. My health and fitness, along with image – and know that I am who I am from what I’ve done, or not done… I ask myself “Am I? I where I want to be in life?”

I question everything in my existance, as is it all pre-planned or do I have a choice in it all… I find my belief as true and yet conflicting at the same time. I know that God knows everything that can and does happen in advance and yet we have a choice, how is there a choice that we make if all days were pre planned… The choice was already known, so you followed without choice… Does everything happen for a reason…? Everything pre-planned – like a giant calculation that forms existance and we are just working it all out – day by day.

Some quotes about my thoughts from the bible:

Psalm 139:16: “Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; And in Your book were all written The days that were ordained for me, When as yet there was not one of them”

Ephesians 1:4-6 : “For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— 6to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves”

It is suggested in Genesis that God gave free will, a choice – for at the begginning to choose to eat or not to eat from the tree of knowledge so is there a choice or was it pre-determined as God knows all that the world would fall into darkness.

This question has always got me stuck… I’ve managed to understand the meanings in so much more, but this one – it always sticks me. Even from old and new testament both state the same style of thing… why it sticks – is it my logical mind thinking too much and trying to understand more than I should strive to do. Some people say “Everyone has a choice” and then also says “God knows everything”, and to me that contradicts itself.

I find it hard as I’m sure most people with beliefs do, and how to visualise it all.