It is coming to another end of year but I can choose to look at time and see it in sections like years and months, but all I really see is days and even then its not really a set thing. Some days go fast, others so slow but time is there or maybe not at the same time. I hear its a constant but my view of it is constantly changing… can that be a true statement?

I have a few things I would like to do this next year, and many things that I’ve done this past year. Some of the things I want to acheive:

• Play the guitar
• Trampolining: Sumasaults with no help
• Rock Climbing – more technique
• A new passion in work, or something in life that I don’t want to put down
• New cooking styles (at least for me, other peoples old styles are great – I just can’t do them)
• Dance: become more fluid, confident, and relaxed in dance and expand the styles
• Fitness: Get down to my ideal weight yet increase my fitness level through fun

My past year has been quite a mixed year, I’ve not done all I wanted but have discovered things that have quite litterally changed my life. I’ve struggled with migrane and cluster headaches for many years, and in october discovered the cause of them.

I’ve been ill a lot over the past year (mainly March to November), and much of it was side effects of the medications I was taking to reduce the headaches/migranes – in September while away on holiday, I was ill and not really enjoying the break. So ill that I couldn’t take the tablets as was sick soon after – kinda defeating the point so I stopped taking them and within a couple of days the side effects died down and I enjoyed the last day of my break.

I went through withdrawal from the medication – you are meant to stop taking it over a period of around 6 to 12 weeks, not over night. I also stopped taking anything that I heard could cause headaches such as cheese, caffeine, chocolate & alchol and the next week or two was just evil. So many headaches, feeling nausia, illness and my mood was not so great either (I found out a few weeks later after talking with people at work). I thought I was going through withdrawal for meds, I may aswell go it for everything at once. Not a nice experience but glad its over.

I re-introduced things into my diet but seems caffeine and chocolate are the real killers. I can have a little caffeine like a drink of cola or a cup of caffeinated tea every so often but often get a headache or hanging feeling in my head thats unconfortable for a few days but after about a day… however eat some delicious chocolate and within about 4 hours my eyes are hurting, everything is really loud, nausia and headaches which really sucks because I love the taste of chcolate, especially dairy milk chocolate.

The trade of pain and not being able to do anything for the taste of chocolate. Its amazing to see how many things contain it but the thought to go down to pain for a taste – its just not worth it.

It is the biggest thing I’ve found out this year personally – and since cutting out caffeine and chocolate I’ve been able to do a lot more too. Including regular swimming before work, trampolining and even started the very basics of rock climbing. My co-ordination has amazingingly got quite good and although haven’t danced in a long time feel its something I will get much better at now.

Now that I’m generally off medications, I feel an old side of me has risen to the surface – things I’ve struggled with for years just melting away and returning to a more confident and happy me. While at university, in groups and presentations I was always nervous to talk but one to one, or in small groups I could talk to anyone and I lost that for a long time but its coming back but not just like that – I’m now able to talk in presentations – I still get nervous but have felt while presenting that its a choice to show it or not. I’d never known the choice before – just that I was and felt others could see it. No need now, and knowing that seems to open more posibilities in life even though I don’t know what those could be.