It doesn’t get easier… and Thanks Guys and Gals!

This past university year has been a lot of fun. A great challenge and exams are in a couple of weeks. I’ve passed all assignments so far, and am preparing for the 2 remaining exams.

I have made a lot of new friends through classes and especially in the social side. I’ve been involved with the Gym and Trampolining group a lot this year. It’s something I enjoy I’m not very good at it but enjoy it all the same.

I’ve made a lot of new friends in it, and only realised in the last week or so that many of them are leaving as it is their final year. They will be missed, they included me in their many events, celebrations, and group things even though my schedule is quite hectic and made me feel a true part of the group and encouraged me. I am very thankful for them all.

This past evening, we had a mini awards night where we all got an award necklace with macaroni round some elastic and a badge. Mine was for Quietest member, as I am so quiet unless annoyed, angry or ecsyatically happy (or need to do a presentation) – I’ve always been quiet although when I get talking, I do tend to keep talking.

It was a good night, a dinner at Joe Rigatoni’s in Middlesbrough followed by drinks out. With many of us attempting a game or so of pool. I’ve realised its a very bad idea to play pool when you have a bad back. I’ve regretted it for the pain, but did enjoy it at the same time. Not something I should repeat until my back is better. Its been bad now for just over a week, maybe I should see someone about it – Red Tiger Balm seems to relieve it quite well for a while… I’m just running out of it now.

So… It doesn’t get easier – I’ve had friends from university leave now for many years, and although I try to keep in contact with as many as possible, it does not get easier to say goodbye knowing that they won’t be around for those random points of encouragement, and smiles and laughter or the great advice that they can share in just the way you need to hear it. So, guys and gals – you will be missed and Thanks for all you’ve brought into my life 🙂

Dreamland – Fun yet dangerous with the occasional kickback (pt2/2)

View Part 1 of the dream

The street theater – There was circus like acts going on, people up high on wierd bikes or stilts in bright costumes. There was something everywhere most of the time unless you went out into the fields that just seemed to go on forever. You chose the weather by thinking it and it happened – be it Rain, glorious sunshine, or snow.

We went out in the snow and built snow people, it was snow and we just seemed to have the warm clothes to wear, there was clothes racks all over and you just grabbed what you wanted. It wasn’t cold but just right and it was so easy to make things… everything we wanted just seemed to be lying around. There was snow ball fights getting us all drenched and covered and wandered over to a pond that was frozen over – we went ice skating, and chilled out just having fun.

I recall thinking, “is this all a dream?” and tried to float but couldn’t. Usually if I work out its a dream I can float or fly and continue. The rain was lovely at night, such a relaxing sound it bouncing off the glass windows.

There was play parks big enough for adults with huge slides, and swings that you could get really high on – not recommended to jump from althou we did and recall it hurting but just for a couple of seconds before going back and playing some more. There was climbing frames, and a few zip lines over water and this wierd spongy foam that seemed to take quite an impact and not hurt when you hit it.

Food was awesome, there seemed to be a place for everything – I recall a place that served just loads of different crisps and a dance floor for salsa – it was great. You could watch or join in. I could seem to remember all the moves from classes in my real life inside the dream and actually be able to do them and enjoy it. The food was eat as much or little as you want.

There was trampolines about the size of 4 normal club sized ones put together – you could get really high and catapult yourself all over or mix with friends and play amazing games of seat attack catapulting one another into the air.

It didn’t feel like you were in danger unless you went down the bank through the shopping centre, everywhere else seemed safe and the people around us were happy too. Only at one point when we were heading down past the centre did we need to stop the group and re-direct them – they were heading towards the unpleasent place but they couldn’t seem to feel it – a strange sense I seemed to have.

Days seemed to pass into weeks yet I was only asleep a few hours, I awoke feeling refreshed but suprised I was at home. I have no idea how I got there, or how I returned but look forward to going there again like so many of my past dreams – they somehow reconnect and its like a continuation.

• Coming Soon: Dreams Blog

Dreamland – Fun yet dangerous with the occasional kickback (pt1/2)

There was what seemed to be a town, like a giant themepark – everywhere there was something to do: be it a show or event somewhere, a ride to go on, a stall to play at or a place to eat at aswell as street theater all around me.

Down one road it felt very dark, it went into a shopping centre with all grey closed shutters and down a hill. At the top of the hill there was an open market stall with veg, and fruit and a girl behind the counter serving and looking oddly towards me when I started to head down the hill. I felt uncomfortable and it was as thou you were diving into an unknown danger – I headed back up and into the central area – the whole atmostphere felt better and happier again.

There was a lot of shows on, for almost anything imagined I recall but don’t remember what they were – just remember that everything seemed covered in some way or uncovered in many ways. You had the choice to be an audience member or actually get up and have a go at anything. It was fun, scary, entertaining and rewarding.

There were loads of people around me, they seemed familure but at the same time unknown to me. I made friends with a few of them and we wandered around the place together.

There was an area to design your own rollercoaster and then ride it with friends, so many high sudden turns that surely were unsafe and unlikely to ever happen in the real world. It was something you designed and said you’d like and then come back and ride – kind of like waiting for a picture to be developed.

Time – it wasn’t just a few hours, it was more like around a few weeks or so had passed with the time there – even recall going to sleep and getting up and right back into the action. We often crashed out in different places after a nights entertainment.

One afternoon there was an attack… some people were running around and we originally thought it was a scene from a theater piece to find out suddenly it wasn’t as the people came towards us. They were covered with blood, cuts all over and dragging others down with them.

We ran but some people came after us with knives and we ran fast and got split up. We went up & down steps, over fences/walls and through a maze of buildings.. we looked back they seemed to be gone we kept on going and returned to the centre again to meet up again.

Continues Tommorrow

• Coming Soon: Dreams Blog

If I had the money…

What would I Like to do if I won a large amount of cash like the lotto millions…?

There is the idea that I would be debt free and help out close friends and family with cash too but apart from that would there be anything I’d really like to do.

There are things like travelling, to see different parts of the world and how cultures work together or against each other. To learn how to cook different dishes traditionally for me and others.

There are a few projects i’d like to do aswell for the community I live in. Maybe some of them I could do now but never seem to have the time or know where to start with it all. The theory is with money you can take the time to do things – I don’t know if this is the case really.


I’ve enjoyed learning trampolining and the freedoms and friends made doing it and try to encourage more people to do it. We are currently located in a sports hall in part of a school in billingham.

I would love for there to be a speciallised place for trampolining where it could be run all day, every day with set days where anyone could come in and try it aswell as run for the club.

A training, fitness area aswell as several trampolines maybe in more than one room so more than one class could be run easily…. Its just an idea – not sure if other places have them already but know in Teesside they don’t.


Take a plot of land or a few plots and build a semi self sufficient set of housing with eco friendly energy. The idea would be to generate all heating using underground heating and energy from solar/wind power with maybe some of the excess heating from underground to also generate power.

I know how fortunate i’ve been in life and althou I’ve never won the lotto or large cash sums before I know that i’ve got a good life and been supported by family and friends and always had somewhere to sleep if needed.

The housing could be used to provide services to the area we live in. There are so many homeless people and people living on the streets, and council properties that are not great and I know that its not much I can do but this idea could help and in theory help pay for itself in running costs. The initial cost would still be expensive.

These are just ideas of a what if.. however maybe its something that could happen without the “what if” – maybe its a set of ideas to start with and something that if local businesses were interested in helping could work together and sponser a project like this. I don’t know – its one of the many ideas I have.


Its something I’ve been doing a while now… and I am slowly learning. Over the past month I seem to have been learning a lot faster or maybe just more willing to try new things again.

The only thing thats changed is that now i’ve started wearing contact lenses and everything seems more balanced, focused plus I don’t need to worry about knocking my glasses

I see people try it and seem to pass my level within two weeks of going which is annoying but I’m happy where I am.

I would like to be able to do sumasaults, forward and backward and think over time I will be able too – at the moment thou I’m still on the basics.

Front Drops – I was always terrified of them… maybe from the amount of times its went wrong and I’ve face planted the trampoline or bent myself in a wierd shape hurting for a while…

Front drops have become easier – The latest few things i’ve learned is seat drop to front to seat again and Back drop to front. Its getting easier but still quite off putting sometimes but no faceplants in months so thats a good thing.

I really enjoy the trampolining, and have made quite a load of good friends there too – everyone of them unique and supportive in different ways.

My favorite saying in trampolining: “Higher Higher…”

Contact Lenses

Over the last few years I’ve needed to start wearing glasses – first it was for using a computer screen and now its more just in general. It seems to help with balance as everythign stays on the same level (sight wise) – its not a strong prescription, but enough to make a difference.

I am a lot more active than I used to be, I enjoy a variety of sports and fitness things aswell as continue to work and go out with friends. I don’t put my full in in the sports at the moment as keep worrying that i’ll break the glasses and when I remove them all balance is gone so its just not a good idea. Hence Contact lenses idea.

I tried contacts twice before, once was a coloured pair before I needed glasses and that was just to make my eyes glow under UV light which for the event we were doing was great. The other was some time in 2004.

I’ve always had difficulty putting things in my eyes. It often takes a while to put eye drops in – bouncing off my nose into my eyes seems to work best so contact lenses where I acutally have to stick finger in eye should be interesting if possable. I think it will take a long time to be able to confidently do it.

Many friends have contacts now, and I look forward to when I can just put them in and enjoy the day without having glasses in the way and the freedom to try things I wouldn’t do because of fear.. Will I still have that excuse when the glasses are gone?

I’ve an appointment on Tuesday to help me with them. lets see how it goes.