As many do for a new year they want to get fitter. I want to get fitter to help give myself more energy, flexability and motivation in what I can do. To see a change in myself and proove past beliefs that I can change and do things.

Several years back like in the 1990’s, I was in secondary school. I was no good at sports of almost any type.. I liked the swimming and the only ones I was any good at all at were Rounder/Softball and basketball. I was always one of the last chosen but tried to keep posative all the same.

I always thought it would be nice to be able to be good at sports but they didn’t really interest me. I’ve never enjoyed watching common sports like football or rugby. Basketball I enjoyed but was rarely on tv.

I used to try as best I could at the sports and actually enjoyed them but was never any good at them. To say I “sucked” at them was kinda a compliment.

Looking back: each year we were made to do country dancing – To move freely and as if magically to a time from past. Something I really did enjoy and wanted to do as much as possable but never allowed myself to be seen as liking it.

Althou I was one that I felt stood out as being different – I also wanted to be accepted as kinda normal at the same time. I don’t know if people saw me as different but I often felt like one of the kids that were watching what was happening rather than being in the action.

The fitness tests and the annoying bleep tests of running between two points.. How to stretch and touch your toes – I could never do it. I could reach to about my knees and then stopped.

Only a year or so (2007) ago I worked out how to touch my toes without hurting myself. Its strange how something so little felt like such an acomplishment.

About 3 years or so ago a friend invited me to go trampolining – I think as to see how funny and wrong it could go and I found something I once did from when I was little (Juniors school time late 1980’s) that I loved but lost how to do that I could do once again.

I’ve been learning to trampoline now for a while and still stuck on the basics but getting better at them. I’ve also completed the course and exam for assistant coaching for trampolining – That I could never have imagined even doing 5 years ago nevermind from when I was younger.

A few years ago around 2005 I wanted to try dancing. I wanted friends to go do it too – no one did. I put it off, something I now regret.

Last year (2008) I decided to go for it again – to try dancing of sort but what type to do? and who will go with me… Well… No one would go with me so went for it on my own with the thought of well.. No one will know me so if it all goes wrong… nevermind.

I’ve made a lot of friends since then. I initially tried ball room dance, something I don’t remember much of. Then I tried Salsa Dance and thats something I’m really loving. There are lots of opertunites to try it and lots of advice on how to get better. Very enjoyable, fast and does improve my balance, co-ordination and fitness.

So there is a lot more that I can do… Running… The Gym, Swimming – who knows – guess we’ll see.

Is it speach of a singleton: Valentines is just a commercialisation to get us to spend money on other people for a particular day.

I’m not sure… its a day for “love” but in reality Life should be a time for “Love” not just one day in a year.

I always remember it as the day after my birthday. This year I went out to town… went for a night of salsa expecting a few others there – I knew some people going but didn’t expect many.

The room was packed. It was due to finish by 11pm, it didn’t – we didn’t leave til 12:30ish, it started close to 8pm so a decent time 🙂

I had a fun time. I had a day of a mind block – I couldn’t remember any of the moves more than the first 4 moves we learned. I Know a lot more apparently but at that time, I couldn’t remember anything more – that didn’t help with confidence.

Some went on to other clubs, I headed back via a takeaway – There were many people arguing outside takeaways and night clubs… Laughter but no violence which was good not to see.

A nice safe journey back home, and many chats online with people still up for the night. Relaxed and enjoyed.

Had a good start to the day, no sleep in but woke up generally refreshed and ready to go. Saw family and friends during the day and went out in the evening.

I got some interesting gifts, quite unique but liked. Wall art, flying monkey, clothing, electricals and some money.

Party?

The plan was Go out to a pub or few and have some drinks – head back to home and have some more drink and some food and chill out.

Well that was the plan… Not many people turned up – many called in ill or couldn’t make it. Some wanted us to pick them up to get there… Don’t know how they expected us to be getting there but nevermind. We don’t do Drink Driving – its just not a good idea.

A few came out and it was a small gathering but was good all the same. Some people seemed disapointed by turnout for me but I was happy – I had a very nice night.

We ended up staying out and staying in one pub.. We got some seating early on and watched as the rest of the place filled up but we kept our seating and had lots of drinks.

I didn’t get drunk. I got merry and kept there. I had several alcho-pop sweet drinks and several shots – cinamon and other flavours – they were very tasty.

I watched as many got drunk around me – and was strange to see – I don’t think I like to get drunk… Merry/Tipsy – yes – but drunk – no! There is no point.

I hear people say “I got plastered last night – it was great!” but then say they don’t remember it but think it was great – the story changes… But whats the point if you don’t remember it all?

At the end of the night… we went back to mine… and had a few drinks but it was only the few of us that went out originally. Many that said they were coming texted to say they were not anymore – oh well.. Nevermind.

I still hope to see people – I’ve not seen many in ages. I have been promised food for other times so that should be good 🙂

I had a good day and night and woke up the next day without any headache which to be honest was nice. I’ve had headaches a long time so the wake up with calmness was very nice.

I am thankful for those that turned up… You made it really good – thank you.

Weather?

Cold. No snow, no rain, calm – so the snow was cleared and quite nice except cold 🙂

I am there.. I am 30 now… No longer in my 20’s – Am I young still? or and I old? kinda in the middle of both I think but not really feeling much different.

Just looking at life, and where I am. Where i’ve been and where I could go… What I need to do now to get there.

I think that life is very different to the outlook on life I had as a child/teen.

I look forward to the rest of the year… as everyone else catches up to being 30… A few have made it already before me.

I like to watch dance, I like to do dance – I’d love to go see Riverdance somewhere close by [then I can drive back afterwards] – I’ve found there will be a performance in sunderland in April. I intend to go, if I have the cash and can get the tickets – the ticket site is down at the moment.

It should be an interesting night, something different… Something I may go alone, or take someone – who I wouldn’t like to guess. So just a notice really as a thought – The one I aimed for was on a monday night – different day really but only one that will fit around other plans.

I’ve thought for many years how amazing it is how people dance and can move in so many different formats – Street Dance, salsa, Ball room, Night clubs, as well as many other ways including traditional country dances. How the movement and fluidity of dance mixed with music can drive a passion within and a flow can be seen and felt.

So something different to go to. A change for a change 🙂

Until later… Thanks for the reading 🙂

• www.RiverDance.com

As I settle down for the night, time coming up past 1am I get things ready for work tommorrow – the many layers, dinner, and putting keys out ready for a fast exit in the morning I ponder…

I look outside and see the snow… Lots and lots of snow… I looked out earlier and the paths were kinda white but you could still see the grass – Now there is no grass either just piles and piles of white snow.

There is a fox out there too… Running round on the grass, stopping and eating something but I don’t know what. I tried to get a picture – Not sure how its came out. There is snow falling, with wet windows and a camera that you cant use flash on cos of snow and blinding white I wonder if it will come out or that you can see whats there.

It looked good, I stopped and watched and listen to the weather as it patters on the window.. The knowledge that I’m warm inside and its so cold outside is kinda comforting and relaxing at the same time… Just hope the heating works in the morning.

So good night for now, and as thoughts come they will appear online 🙂

Thanks for Reading…

I’ve managed to allow everything to stop for a few days to try and relax and see what else can be done.

Its strange to not have anything planned – No dancing, no work, no trampolining, no events, no work, nobody to meet and no play – just stop and think.

While stopped I start looking, I see that life is full of stuff I probably don’t need but put there to fill in the time. I know there is always something I should be doing in some way or another but to stop and look at all that I am or could be reminds me of different things.

I see that I am not whom I thought I could be and see different ways that I can improve myself if I give it the time – be that in personality, fitness, finance, or happyness.

But to stop and look, I wonder what to do – Even stopped its as though there is so much to do, nothing planned yet so much to do… House work, garden work, fixing, tidying, organising, meeting people, talking, websites, work, research, fitness, health, and the list continues.

I have been very fortunate in life, I’ve always had people support me and still do but still I find it difficult and often make mistakes. I think its a good idea to stop every so often, and let the mind catch up so things start to make a little more sense again.

It is coming up in less than 12 hours now, a new year, the end of 2008 and the start of 2009. Is it a fresh start, an oppertunity to do all those things I just never got round too this year, to make “new year resolutions” that are rarely kept, or to continue life the same as normal?

I’m trying to think what I have I managed to do over the past year and the main things that come to mind is working in different Christian groups like Just 10, and Harvest aswell as the Salsa dancing that I’ve come to love.

I’ve learned a lot this past year but not sure how to write it all up as yet. I took a different approach to things in life than my usual do as expected and follow what others do and try to fit in. I decided I wanted to try and find new things where I could meet lots of new people, make friends, find things I could enjoy and be generally happier.

Overall, I think i’ve managed the aim with better results than I thought would happen.

Changes really started around April / May time where I got involved with friends in a stewarding team at Just 10 North East and saw so many people coming together from my local area to listen about God in a different way, and worship and enjoy. Seeing so many (over 5000) from the local area was good in one place, and was glad to be a part of it all. I’ve seen large groups of youth upto around 2,000 in total in previous years of events i’ve helped with and the atmostphere was great.

Harvest was a good time, I learned a lot about myself in a new place and made a whole new set of friends that meet up reguarly and enjoy each others company. Harvest moved to a new location – almost rained all of the time, in a larger field with a nice big barn instead of a windy tent – I made great friendships and re-discoved my love for dance that I lost many years ago.

I started doing different dance things… I wanted to do dance for a long time. I’ve not been bothered too much in night clubs but enjoyed it while out with friends but never been sure what to do except sway in random movements to the rhythem of the music and enjoy. I wanted to know how to dance for more traditional means so tried some classes.

First set of classes – I tried Ballroom dancing… Which to not much suprise is very difficult when your on your own. I was lucky and got the dance teacher to help teach and correct me when wrong… I don’t remember much more than the dance position but then again not been in a situation when needing it so maybe it’ll come back to me if needed… I enjoyed it and was suprised at how energetic little moves were.

Next I tried salsa dance, also gone on my own which was fine this time. I love it, I really enjoy it more than I thought I could. Its like a new passion of mine and try to go to events where I can learn more and dance. Its a strange thing salsa… The guy has to lead the girl in almost every move directing where and how she is to move. This took a lot of adjusting too but is interesting and fun.

I’ve been doing salsa now for about 3 months in total (12 weeks) and feel like i’ve done it much longer. I’m only a beginners level and can see there is a lot more to learn. It has helped my confidence with talking to people, dancing, and generally interacting with others. It is helping my fitness and always something new is learned whenever I try.

It scares me to ask the girls to dance, I don’t know most of their levels (Beginners, improvers etc) but they just go with it and its really enjoyable. Most of the time they will say “yes” to a dance, and i’ve only had 2 say “no” over the 3 months i’ve done it. Its quite pleasing to get a “yes” and relaxing too. I can not imagine looking forward one year this time last and seeing me even trying this… Its one of those many things that I put on the list that “i’d love to try but…” type and always have an excuse.

I wanted friends to go with me to the dancing, but everyone decided they were busy or would drop out and that put me off for a while then I decided i’d just go for it and if it all went wrong then no one would know who I was so it wouldn’t matter… In actual fact – I’ve loved it and made a lot of new friends through it all and very thank ful I just went for it.

Other things I’ve tried: Trampolining Assistant Coaching – Something I thought i’d not get through… started around May time – completed and passed in december with a week or two of little sleep.

I wanted to better understand why I was told to do thing a certain way and to be able to help out the club if need be. I learned how to be more assertive, and how to handle situation in teaching and demonstrating how to do things on the trampoline. I better understand what people have told me over the last few years and why and can better word for others to do what is needed.

I’m really glad I went for it and passed. I wasn’t sure how to feel at the time of the exam… we got there early and told we could start right away… it wasn’t until about half way through I stopped reading my “exam checklist/session plan” and just got on with it relaxed and helped people… It was a lot easier then and then got off, finished up and thankfully passed.

Bad News of the year: Family cat died at the great age of around 19 and a half – A loved moggy that is missed and remembered.

Overall, the past year has been quite amazing and although there doesn’t seem much mentioned above I feel i’ve achieved a lot, pushed many bounderies for myself and set a few new targets to reach for. I’m thankful for the great support from friends new and old, and quite happy seeing this year end and the new year come in.

After seeing all that can happen when the attitude changes a little from “what if”, to “lets try and see” – I look forward to what could happen this next year… Maybe at some point i’ll get round to writing up the dreams for life i’ve had… Who knows… Lets see.