Thoughts

Money and Work world

Posted on by JC

I must work, and earn lotsa money – to pay off all that I have and have had and want or may need in the future.

I work a general 5 day work week doing 2 jobs that both are OK, each for 20 hours a week totalling a 40 hour work week. I quite like both of my jobs but at the same time hope for more… Not just in money, but in acheivement and making a real difference to life and the people around me.

I look at all what I have and know that I’ve been blessed – I have a home, car, and all I need to survive. I have friends that support me, and work to help pay for it all.

I’ve never really ever opened up at work, they know that I am a Christian but I don’t think I yet show what that really is to them. I’ve always hidden whom I am to protect myself and not to be asked too many questions. Althou in reality, I want questions to be asked… I won’t know all the answers and will be challenged but thats part of the point of life.

No challenges, and easy does it gets boring over time if not quickly. Although a very comfortable existance, its not really living.

In this I am not saying I shouldn’t work, I think all people should work if they are able to do so – be that in helping others and earning money or volunteer work. Some people are in training, learning what they need and thats good too.

Health, fitness, figure, weight, appearance World….

Posted on by JC

I must look a certain way, I must be fit, I must not be over weight, I need to get fitter, thinner, more flexible, healthier – I must.. I must…

This expectation of the world we live in that if you don’t fit an image, then you don’t fit anything. I know that I struggle with the thoughts that I could get fat and overweight althou according to guides I have a BMI of 22.1 which is almost perfect [22 is ideal] but still it feels wrong.

I try to get fit, I am currently doing trampoling each week – A very fun and energetic workout. I am careful on what I eat that I don’t generally have high fat based foods and generally make meals from fresh ingredients [they taste so much better].

I’ve tried ball room & Jive dancing – both quite energetic which suprised me and a lot of fun. I tried the gym, but didn’t have motivation… I occasionally go swimming but not as often as I’d like. I go on random walks from my house to wherever I end up.

I feel I must try and keep a certain outside view of myself althou in the reality of inner life it doesn’t matter too much. But we all want to be liked and appearance can often help greatly to sway opinion.

Belief Changed World

Posted on by JC

I have groups of friends that believe many things I know exist but are not true at the same time, they touch on things that no man or woman was ever meant to use and are in a dangerous place and don’t see it.

I once went into their groups, to try and understand where they were coming from and a whole world was opened up to me which excited and terrified me – especially when I realised what it was. I am no longer in that place and thankful for that.

I talk to people about what I believe is right, and they speak to me… I don’t know if i’m getting anywhere with them but hope they see something in it all.

My Physical expected world

Posted on by JC

I mix with friends, we go out, drink, night clubs, pool, cinema, bowling, hang out and talk but beliefs don’t really come into it.

I hide my faith as I don’t want them to dislike me althou I also know that they wouldn’t dis me for it. I’ve spoken to them about it and often when I’ve drank more than usual I can’t help but talk about it – it just fits into conversation.

I also feel that I don’t want to force them into believing althou I really want them too – I know that if they don’t that they will not be with me in the long term and I really don’t want that.

Multiple Worlds

Posted on by JC

I just as you live in more worlds than just the one. We live different lives depending whom we are with – our actions are different, we are different people but when is it when we are truely honest to ourselves and others around.

I find my place is at a place I help out at called harvest – its a Christian youth camp – I feel totally free there to share who I really try to be in all the things I do. I don’t at all hide my beliefs, I just fit in and can see the world in a totally different view to normal life.

Some of the other worlds…

Please click each point for more information on each world I have.

My Journey in Belief

Posted on by JC

I became a Christian in 1989 – I was 10 years old, and felt in my heart and soul it was the right thing to do – it just made sense even at 10 years of age. Since then I’ve re-dedicated my life to Christ multiple times.

When in youth sunday school at the tab church I often felt the power of God in my life, often when we went away and life was away from school, and home life – where I could be free to believe and know that those around me didn’t judge me. I would be a lot more faithful then.

In February 1992 I started to go to an event named “Crucible” where a lot of youth groups met together and worshipped God together. There was around 200 people there when I started and the event had to move to different locations as it had around 400 people going each month – always based in the Tees Valley.

In 1994 I went to a youth camp named Harvest – The theme was “Everybody needs somebody” and was using music from the Blues Brothers theme tune. I went with The Tab Youth group.

While at school I discovered that many schools had a Christian union, but mine did not – myself and a group of others tried to set one up and had a small group of students meeting together once a week. It didn’t really work out – we didn’t know what was to happen just that there should be one. So without a real plan we went out and tried. Now they have one thats going well at the school but that many years since.

In 1995 I stopped going to church, I didn’t see the point anymore.. The sermons seemed to be repeated and the information stale. I’d been told I had to go into the main church now and youth church was no longer an option. I found the services tedious and quite boring so stopped going. I continued going to the crucible events each month and Harvest but otherwise church was out.

In 1997 I started University and was determined that I would not let people dis me for my beliefs – I would not make friends for them to throw religion at me..

so I introduced myself with “Hello my name is J… and I am a Christian” – It totally terrified me of the response and was so glad to find the first person I asked replied with.. “Hello my name is T… and so am I” which was a relief. I was later to find that no-one else in the class felt the same way so wow, I think that was a good sign and is still a great friendship.

We joined the Christian union of the University and were members throughout the time of University. At one point for a year I was involved in running part of the group which was an honour.

Uni was a suprise to me at how people seemed to look at people and the world, it was more of an accepting place of “oh, you believe that… thats nice” and not such ridicule for believing in God.

I found friends from all over the country and world that also believed as I did and were supportive and helping althou we were all doing totally different things in life, we are all following the same Christ.

It got me thinking as to why people from different denominations didn’t work together – always confused me – people asked me what my denomination was – I’d say “Christian” and they’d ask which type… I thought “There’s only one” and reply “Christian, Were all in this together”

In 1999 I joined a church named “Riverside” – I went after a friend bugged me continually about going for several weeks from the Christian Union [CU] – the services were quite long but enjoyable. They had a youth church on a friday night – around 20+ went which was nice. We would sing, and worship, games, pray and learn together support whatever any of us were going through.

In 2000, we heard about a mission event that was going to happen in Manchester at summer time – something that hadn’t happened before named “Message 2000” – two weeks of working in the area supporting the people there though running youth/children groups, clearing gardens and decorating homes and speaking to people about God. There was invitation to events on the night where bands would play in the areana and got around 14,000+ people turning up.

We went for week 2 of the project, where we camped out in groups in a park in manchester and worked on different teams in the area. I was working on a kids group team. Over the 2 weeks around 10,000 Christians joined together and helped out.

We also went out in small groups of 2 or 3 and spoke to people about out beliefs. This terrified me and on the first day when I tried to speak no sound came out – I was embarrased, and scared but nothing bad came from it… The next day, we went out again and spoke to people successfully.

Many people didn’t want to know and shrugged us off, but there were a lot of people willing to talk and convesations would go on and it was good. A lot of oposing ideas but people were listening and responding – something I was not expecting and felt blessed for it.

Around 2001 I went and got baptised – this isn’t the same as a Christening, this is showing people that I do believe in Christ and want God in my life – a public demonstration where I had many friends and family attend and see me leave one life and come into another.

I have continued to go to Harvest althou not as a patron any more, now I help with stewarding which helps keep the place running safely. I started in 2000 and done it almost every year since.

In 2006 an event named NE1 was ran where several churches all from the North East of England met up in chester-le-street and spent a week going out helping people in the area. From Clearing gardens, and painting to spending time with people and running childrens groups.

NE1 reminded me of the Message 2000 event but was local to the North East instead of another part of the country.

I helped with stewarding and anything else I could help with there. A fun time, great hot dry weather and wonderful friendships made aswell as seeing so many peoples lives changed through Christ.

In Late 2006 I moved back to the church I started at – The Tab where I attend and can involved with things from. They have a 20s to 30s group that meets each week on a friday at Borders on Teesside Park at 7pm ish til closing. A time to chill out and be with other Christians not in a church setting.

Over the whats coming up 20 years since becoming a Christian, I’ve fell away from God and the Faith many times but always have came back. If I look at all the times when I’ve been truely happy there has always been A God aspect to it all so that where my focus should be.

I don’t know what to expect from life in the future, or even in the present really but think that its going to be an amazing adventure.

A few bible verses come to mind:

Jeremiah 29:11: For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

– I had always read that passage and missed the point of future – I’ve always looked at what NOW, and not future but to know that there is going to be a future and I will be looked after – I like that.

Psalm 139:1-3: O LORD, you have searched me and you know me.You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.You discern my going out and my lying down;you are familiar with all my ways.

– To know that God knows everything is amazing and scary at the same time, but to know that someone is in control is a great thing to realise. Especially when they know what you are able to do and give you the power to do it.

Over the last 10 weeks theres been a local event named Just 10, I’ve wrote about it here but its been a truelly local opertunity to see around 5,000+ people coming together and worship God together.

A change of direction?

Posted on by JC

What is it that makes us live life, and what is living? Is it doing a job, dreaming of another existance, following your dream, finding a passion?

I am trying to work out what my dream for life is… I don’t know at the moment. I know I’m currently not doing what I really want to be doing. I am in a comfortable place – easy to allow life to keep going and me go nowhere.. But to exist.. thats all i’m doing – allowing life to pass me by while still working, living and being here.

What makes me really happy – Friendships make me happy, I love making friends happy by talking and being with them and supporting them but feel there is so much more out there.

I’ve always done IT stuff, its what I have the ability to do but is it what I want to be doing? not sure on that point anymore. I like the web development I do, making things appear from an idea into a world that many can see but would rather be out in the world helping in some way than say behind a screen typing away.

I’ve taken a few days out of the work world to sit, read, talk, and try to discover a little more about what makes me happy.

Why did that happen?

Posted on by JC

I’ve cut some of this post from some email someone sent me just at a time when I was thinking – Why did that do that? I didn’t tell it to do that.. why is it happening…

Every event in our world has a seed. If life appears chaotic, random and disordered, it’s only because we cannot perceive the process of cause and effect at work. In other words, we see the tree, but not the seed.

This lack of perspective leads people to live under the illusion that things happen suddenly. They don’t. They can’t. Nothing occurs suddenly. An oak tree never just appears on our front lawn. A seed is always planted first.

If there is something in your life right now that you want to get rid of, you must first accept the principle that you, yes, you, planted the seed somewhere in your past. No matter how random the event appears to be there are no accidents in life. There is only order; cause and effect; action and reaction. I’m not talking about how the matrix film does but basically its the same

Can you imagine if you plant a positive seed by becoming accountable and taking responsibility for one thoughtless, selfish action you committed in the past. Can you imagine the difference life could be? I mean, really?

If I could think what it was that I did in the past that got me into this in the first place that would help but nevermind – i’m sure it’ll come to mind at some point.

How long have you been on facebook?

Posted on by JC

I joined around late 2006 after a friend kept asking me to join but didn’t do anything about it more than having about 10 friends where we could share photos of events we helped out at and see what each other was up too.

When did it become popular? I’m not sure, I know mid 2007 some of my closest friends joined up and then found me on there. I thought it was just a good place of sharing pics, but it has grown a lot since then with the massive amount of games, application, and ways to prod and poke people.

I’ve found it a very useful thing of finding lost friends with nothing more than knowing who was friends of friends.. I think i’ve a list of over 200 on the friends list now, a lot more that the 6 months or so of only 10 people. Only now am I finding those from school that some are just joining some multy many months later than I have.

Its good, I like it but do have some concerns about it such as how you have to be careful exactly what you post on peoples profiles and share with the world… How much of it would you want your employer or even parents to see? And since its online, most of it will appear somehow in internet archives so anything down is down for ever.

How easy is it to take something back when you’ve posted that message on 200+ peoples profiles with one click with no option to retract… maybe its just paranoia but its something to think about.. What do you think?

Can we make a change to home?

Posted on by JC

I sit in comfort while many don’t even have a bed to lay on. I know I seem to have my own issues with debts that seem to overcome me but I still have a home, clothes to keep me warm, a car to get me places and a job to help keep it all together.

What can I do? I see places where I can donate money – but that can help up to a point where I can’t afford too and will run into more debts… I want to know what I can do – an action, to help people rather than just sit behind a cash amount and call it doing something.

Its something i’ve considered a few times, but never done anything about it. I’ve always done the charity contributions and felt that was making a difference but I want to help with a cause and not just be financial contributer which I find difficult to keep up.

Will anything happen, I honestly don’t know… Guess we’ll see in time… I mean where do I start…

Wherever I look online it seems to refer me elsewhere or give me documentation that is years out of date or is not for anywhere close. I’d like to start at home town and work from there – I’m more likely to stay committed if its close by and can see some of the results of actions taken.

Not knowing what those actions could be or how things are done. I read of annual christmas things where people are helped but I’ve never been involved… Do I need qualifications to help? I don’t know really – Where do I start? Who do I work with? General group, a church maybe? I honestly do not know but its certainly something to look into.