New start, New Life, New Beginning

I can do so much more, if I choose too. I feel there is so much more ability that i’ve had in life and I’ve not seen it but looking back I can.

Today has been good, a sleep in past 7am (recently been up 6:30am) so a relaxed start, delicious breakfast & felt ready for the morning, lunch was good & I rested for a bit. One of our sessions were cancelled so we got an hour to chill out.

I’ve been learning about trust – something I have struggled with since a past relationship. I’ve not known how to trust God or other people.

I’ve seen how I’ve already been trusting God without realising it. For example: Coming to spring harvest, from the north east, without anyone else, knowing no-one and trusting people will be friends and everything will work out. It has, and i’m making lots of new friends.

I think the term “Trust in God” is a strange term.. saying “Believing that God will provide for your situation” is more accurate or at least means something to me.

This evening was a challenge – to be interviewed, asked questions in front of 180+ people over microphone – I was nervious with a kinda confidance too.

Whenever I have attempted to speak over a microphone I tend to speak but no sound appears – annoying when you want to speak and kinda embarrasing too.

I managed to talk easily, openly and confidently althou scared to do it. I felt such a buzz & energy on completing.

Maybe its a part of my future – maybe a dream/vision will come true. Part my part looking back I can see that i’m getting somewhere.

I will be able to speak in front of people, teach, present, talk to youth at events & stuff – it could happen, I think I could do well at it and help in some way.

I’m liking this attitude: Try, See and acheive – I’m not looking forward to work again but and looking forward to the future and not entirely knowing actually feels good for a change.

Clear Night, stars above – full moon shining down. A peace covering the area with cool breezes. Ducks swimming in the moonlight and running round the grassy edges.

This is a new experience to me, stewarding at Spring harvest. There seems or sounds to be a lot more happening in general than the normal harvest i’m used too.

So far, a lot of stewards seem shy and also have come with other people. I came alone, but having no problems talking with others – it is a lot easier than I recall doing before.

Its the first night and its not tents but chalets with beds and heating – very nice but people don’t seem up for socialising – they all went to bed – most before 11pm… Too early for the first or any night really.

Most teams i’ve been on previously have hung out on the first night, a time to get to know one another before working together.

I can recall times where I went to bed early but not on the first night with a new team. Maybe it will change over time – I think it will be tiring but a good time.

Bed just after midnight – a little tired, headache starting, good idea to sleep.

Over the time I was at spring harvest (SH) I learned a lot. Questions I had wanted asking in life that I’d kind of accepted as never going to be answered so had stopped asking got answered and things started to make sense.

Over the next week, i’ll put up some of my diary entries I wrote while I was there and then some more about what I think I learned.

Overall it was a good time, and made lots of new friends. I’d recommend to people to try spring harvest, and to try stewarding – there is so much that happens in the background that no-one really realises – I know I didn’t last time I went as a delegate.