Author: JC

The Camera [Fuji F100FD]

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I’ve wanted a camera for a long time. One that was not part of a phone, one that I could easily take pictures with in whatever light I’m in and it work out whats best and just take the picture. I think i’ve found one now, it cost me around £150 but seems to do what I want it to do.

so far out of the pictures I’ve taken only about 3 have not came out and thats mainly been because I clicked the button at the wrong place and took nice pictures of the grass. I’ve taken around 60 so far so not too bad going.

The camera is a Fuji F100FD or something like that – its a 12MP camera – why I need an image that big I’m not really sure, but could capture something far away I guess. I’m not totally sure. I got the silver version – you could get black but I liked the shiney one more.


Fuji F100FD

A 512MB Card is not really enough to hold many pictures or video on it – it got around 70 pictures on the card but I did also have other files on there too so could have had more if i’d wiped the card first. I’ve ordered 3x 4GB cards and a few spare batteries for it. You can always guarantee you’ll run out of either space or power when it comes to camera so i try to be prepared.Pictures… Well I should get round to adding a picture gallery or something to here then I could show you.

I’ve enjoyed seeing lots of pictures of peoples lives of growing up and changes they are going through, I see quite a few groups of friends update pictures almost on a weekly basis and I think… Where are mine – I don’t really have any pictures of me doing anything.. I always thought there was pictures, but I seem to always be outside the focus…

Now, that can change, I can start to record a little of what life looks like and how it changes over time so I can see the changes and enjoy them in the future too.

Just 10 – Old Truths Changing Lives

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Just 10 is a set of ten weeks about the 10 commandments in reverse order. Its running in gateshead on Tuesday nights and stockton at preston park on a wednesday night. I’ve been to the first 5 as an attendee and the second set I’m helping with the stewarding on the doors.

Website link: http://www.just10northeast.org.uk [opens new window]

Going to the event was good, the general running is:

  • 18:30 People start coming in
  • 19:30 Event starts
    • Sing time [worship]
    • Intro and an interview
    • Bit more singing
    • Talk
    • End with singing
  • 21:30 Event ends – People go home

Whole thing is around 2 hours long in reality and is informative and a nice look on things in a different way to how I’ve looked at them before.

Stewarding has been enjoyable too, I’ve made a lot of new friends in it from just mixing with people, talking and helping out. We’ve had mixed weather from boiling gorgeous sun to drenching pour down rain but still lots of people coming. Around 5,000 each week we’ve been told.

I’d like to see more people there but people don’t seem to come – I invite them but never seem to see them. I hope you come – Preston Park, Stockton, 19:30 start wednesdays Only on til 25th June now.

Video Intro about it all


Can we make a change to home?

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I sit in comfort while many don’t even have a bed to lay on. I know I seem to have my own issues with debts that seem to overcome me but I still have a home, clothes to keep me warm, a car to get me places and a job to help keep it all together.

What can I do? I see places where I can donate money – but that can help up to a point where I can’t afford too and will run into more debts… I want to know what I can do – an action, to help people rather than just sit behind a cash amount and call it doing something.

Its something i’ve considered a few times, but never done anything about it. I’ve always done the charity contributions and felt that was making a difference but I want to help with a cause and not just be financial contributer which I find difficult to keep up.

Will anything happen, I honestly don’t know… Guess we’ll see in time… I mean where do I start…

Wherever I look online it seems to refer me elsewhere or give me documentation that is years out of date or is not for anywhere close. I’d like to start at home town and work from there – I’m more likely to stay committed if its close by and can see some of the results of actions taken.

Not knowing what those actions could be or how things are done. I read of annual christmas things where people are helped but I’ve never been involved… Do I need qualifications to help? I don’t know really – Where do I start? Who do I work with? General group, a church maybe? I honestly do not know but its certainly something to look into.

Danced It

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So I tried it, and I’m loving it – Not sure if i’m really doing any good but its a lot of fun. I try to do Ball Room dancing of sorts which is very interesting, extreamly confusing and I’m only in the Absolute beginners class…

I went alone, arrived first week to realise everyone else was in couples – always something to worry about, I did ask if it was a couples only thing or not and was told it would be fine on my own… That was interesting if a little off putting however it was kewl as I got put with the female dance teacher who has helped me a lot over the several weeks I’ve been there.

The course is over 10 weeks in total, or 13 if you include all the breaks with bank holidays in place. There is a variety of dances we’ve been learning and the names all confuse me… I need to watch for a minute to see which one were doing before going for it… once doing it I think i’m doing ok – its a lot more energetic than I envisioned it but so much fun.

Something I considered doing for years but never really went for as wondered what people may think, now its another angle of life something totally different to anything else I’ve done and finding something new like that is just excellent.

I now think to myself and tell others that if there is something you want to try you should go for it, try it out – people may comment but does it really matter – if your happy and find something that gives you joy – why shouldn’t you do it… As long as your not harming others, you should go for it in my opinion.

Its been a while

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Its certainly been a while since I last updated this place and now is as good a time as any. I’ve been quite busy in life so busy I can’t remember what i’ve done or what I need to do – I should really keep those check lists and work through them – at least then I can see some progress if only slowly.

How can it be difficult to keep a blog up to date – I mean its just writing what you think at a time – I generally write notes then add a load of entries at once if you’d not realised already.

I’ve had contact with an old friend recently, it seems to be happening more and more now – things like Facebook seem to help quite well but this one i’ve not seen in the past 8 or 9 years and we used to be best of friends. She moved house, up north and I lost contact – got to meet up again and see and talk face to face… Email just isn’t enough sometimes. She isn’t on facebook yet but theres always time.

How do we look at life, is it what has happened or what could happen.

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How do we look at life, is it what has happened or what could happen.
The past, or the future or even just now? I’ve been living in the
past, re-living old memories and not really making any new ones.

I want to try new things, and meet lots of new friends. I’d say I have
a variety of good friends already but I don’t think there can be too
many friends.

Searching for a passion to do and spend my time. To stop worrying
about what can get me down and get out and do something. I’ve wanted
to learn dance, Its always amazed me how people can do such great
movements with just their body – the entertain, entice and enjoy. I’m
currently looking into Ball Room, and Salsa dance style – Not sure how
it will work out but should be fun to see.

Beleifs and the way people live by have interested me – What is it
that makes someone tick? Why do they believe that and do they practice
what they believe. I’ve been brought up in the Christian belief and do
call myself a Christian as thats what I believe but do love to hear
others views of belief aswell and why thats what they believe even if
I do think they are wrong.

So, that dance thing – looks interesting… Lets see how it goes – I think it will be a lot of fun so I’ll give it a go and see how it all turns out… so if you can’t get me on a night, maybe i’m out dancing the night away.

Laterz

A Bike! Thats what I need.

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I think I’ll get a bike – As many know I’ve been doing a lot of thinking in life over the last year and trying to figure things out a bit – I’m nowhere near the end of that path but would like to know where else I can go.

I remember back a few years, going out with friends in countryside and when my hayfever wasn’t so bad it was glorious all the nature around us – I really loved those days. Running through random places through the grass, and the trees – climbing, and tumbling down hills and just being happy with everything around us.

I like the idea of a bike, it will get me fitter, and give me a freedom that doesn’t involve the car. Its all great having a car, but its expensive to run and thats something I want to cut down on but I don’t want to stop meeting up with people so cycling could be an answer.

I’ve been looking at various memberships of groups like National Trust, Youth Hostals for cheap but great events that will brighten life up. I think it work out round £70 per year for the memberships then you get to and into places a lot cheaper in general or free. But there is always the travel issue and we come back to the bike idea.

I know some other friends have them too but never go out – maybe this will help motivate us to go out together and have fun times and enjoy something thats good for the environment and good for us all.

Harvest – To be a part?

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I question myself as to should I do harvest this year – a question I often ask but have always said yes.

It’s a place outside of the norm where the majority believe in God and great friendships are made. A place I can forget about life for a week and be who I want to be without the world getting in the way.

It’s the time of year for the application form to fill in and return. I want to apply but don’t know if I should. I have so many questions this year about what is real and what have I been conditioned to believe that I don’t know if I could be a useful exaple to the others there.

Sure i’d get something out of it – like the friendships and the energies (feelings) would be great but its all self gain and it shouldn’t be like that.

This year its all change for harvest – different dates, new location – maybe it’s my turn to stop even thour I know so many friends will be there and i’ll get a whole week with them. I don’t know, I hope i;ll have some answers or at least some questions by then.

We’ll see what happens.

Trapped between world, the dreamy awake.

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Trapped between worlds – the awake and the dream world.

Today I thought Id forgotten something quite important, that something that could be comprimised if in fact it wasn’t sorted. I jumped up and started up things – I was out and around the area getting on with things and then my eyes saw something different.

I was in two worlds, the real world and this what was dream world and could see both at the same time, the real world was a lot foggier / lighter like an overlay and time was running a lot slower.

It was then i realised things were not as they seemed, and i was seeing outside of where I was. Nothing made sense but in a dream, what really does?

In the end I woke up. I’d been sleep actioning – I’d somehow written some emails I don’t remember writting but needed to do for a while aswell as re-organised some stuff in the room I was sitting in.

The sites of two worlds into one seemed to allow me to get things that were in my sub-consious mind but couldn’t be done in the real world done. I can now say honestly that I can do things in my sleep – but its a new one to me.
Foggy Walk

Where am I now? what is my purpose? Is there a direction?

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Where am I now? what is my purpose? Is there a direction? Follow where? Where am I coming from? What are these ideas that swirl within my existance.

Over the past few months I’ve been trying to understand myself, and what I feel and until now I really didn’t know how to even start putting things into words. I’m not saying I know everything yet but I have a beginning and thats where I’ll start.

I know what I feel, if thats only what I know – I don’t know what it says about me just that its what is behind the happy show I put up front.

I don’t know the point of most things anymore but realise that friendships are one of the most important things of being alive. I am very thankful of the friendships I’ve been given and those of you that read this I hope you realise how much you mean to me 🙂

I question everything now, from the reality we live in to the beliefs that have made me who I am. I don’t know what is real and what I’ve been conditioned into accepting as fact. I have to re-learn it all in a way that I search for answers rather than being told this is the right way.

Over the past few years I’ve looked into different beliefs of friends – some I agree with, some I really do not and some I can see where their coming from but dont know why they do it. Almost everyone of the people I speak too say they don’t know if their belief is the right belief but its what feels right to them – I don’t know anymore.

Back to me… I don’t know where I’m going in life – I look back and see failed times, and some victories and a very long calm – this calm is here and doesn’t seem to be leading anywhere. I’m waiting for some direction or a shove in a direction. I work by a “Show me how” and “Practice – try it out” and see where it takes me.