Diary – The blog area

My Journey in Belief

Posted on by JC

I became a Christian in 1989 – I was 10 years old, and felt in my heart and soul it was the right thing to do – it just made sense even at 10 years of age. Since then I’ve re-dedicated my life to Christ multiple times.

When in youth sunday school at the tab church I often felt the power of God in my life, often when we went away and life was away from school, and home life – where I could be free to believe and know that those around me didn’t judge me. I would be a lot more faithful then.

In February 1992 I started to go to an event named “Crucible” where a lot of youth groups met together and worshipped God together. There was around 200 people there when I started and the event had to move to different locations as it had around 400 people going each month – always based in the Tees Valley.

In 1994 I went to a youth camp named Harvest – The theme was “Everybody needs somebody” and was using music from the Blues Brothers theme tune. I went with The Tab Youth group.

While at school I discovered that many schools had a Christian union, but mine did not – myself and a group of others tried to set one up and had a small group of students meeting together once a week. It didn’t really work out – we didn’t know what was to happen just that there should be one. So without a real plan we went out and tried. Now they have one thats going well at the school but that many years since.

In 1995 I stopped going to church, I didn’t see the point anymore.. The sermons seemed to be repeated and the information stale. I’d been told I had to go into the main church now and youth church was no longer an option. I found the services tedious and quite boring so stopped going. I continued going to the crucible events each month and Harvest but otherwise church was out.

In 1997 I started University and was determined that I would not let people dis me for my beliefs – I would not make friends for them to throw religion at me..

so I introduced myself with “Hello my name is J… and I am a Christian” – It totally terrified me of the response and was so glad to find the first person I asked replied with.. “Hello my name is T… and so am I” which was a relief. I was later to find that no-one else in the class felt the same way so wow, I think that was a good sign and is still a great friendship.

We joined the Christian union of the University and were members throughout the time of University. At one point for a year I was involved in running part of the group which was an honour.

Uni was a suprise to me at how people seemed to look at people and the world, it was more of an accepting place of “oh, you believe that… thats nice” and not such ridicule for believing in God.

I found friends from all over the country and world that also believed as I did and were supportive and helping althou we were all doing totally different things in life, we are all following the same Christ.

It got me thinking as to why people from different denominations didn’t work together – always confused me – people asked me what my denomination was – I’d say “Christian” and they’d ask which type… I thought “There’s only one” and reply “Christian, Were all in this together”

In 1999 I joined a church named “Riverside” – I went after a friend bugged me continually about going for several weeks from the Christian Union [CU] – the services were quite long but enjoyable. They had a youth church on a friday night – around 20+ went which was nice. We would sing, and worship, games, pray and learn together support whatever any of us were going through.

In 2000, we heard about a mission event that was going to happen in Manchester at summer time – something that hadn’t happened before named “Message 2000” – two weeks of working in the area supporting the people there though running youth/children groups, clearing gardens and decorating homes and speaking to people about God. There was invitation to events on the night where bands would play in the areana and got around 14,000+ people turning up.

We went for week 2 of the project, where we camped out in groups in a park in manchester and worked on different teams in the area. I was working on a kids group team. Over the 2 weeks around 10,000 Christians joined together and helped out.

We also went out in small groups of 2 or 3 and spoke to people about out beliefs. This terrified me and on the first day when I tried to speak no sound came out – I was embarrased, and scared but nothing bad came from it… The next day, we went out again and spoke to people successfully.

Many people didn’t want to know and shrugged us off, but there were a lot of people willing to talk and convesations would go on and it was good. A lot of oposing ideas but people were listening and responding – something I was not expecting and felt blessed for it.

Around 2001 I went and got baptised – this isn’t the same as a Christening, this is showing people that I do believe in Christ and want God in my life – a public demonstration where I had many friends and family attend and see me leave one life and come into another.

I have continued to go to Harvest althou not as a patron any more, now I help with stewarding which helps keep the place running safely. I started in 2000 and done it almost every year since.

In 2006 an event named NE1 was ran where several churches all from the North East of England met up in chester-le-street and spent a week going out helping people in the area. From Clearing gardens, and painting to spending time with people and running childrens groups.

NE1 reminded me of the Message 2000 event but was local to the North East instead of another part of the country.

I helped with stewarding and anything else I could help with there. A fun time, great hot dry weather and wonderful friendships made aswell as seeing so many peoples lives changed through Christ.

In Late 2006 I moved back to the church I started at – The Tab where I attend and can involved with things from. They have a 20s to 30s group that meets each week on a friday at Borders on Teesside Park at 7pm ish til closing. A time to chill out and be with other Christians not in a church setting.

Over the whats coming up 20 years since becoming a Christian, I’ve fell away from God and the Faith many times but always have came back. If I look at all the times when I’ve been truely happy there has always been A God aspect to it all so that where my focus should be.

I don’t know what to expect from life in the future, or even in the present really but think that its going to be an amazing adventure.

A few bible verses come to mind:

Jeremiah 29:11: For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

– I had always read that passage and missed the point of future – I’ve always looked at what NOW, and not future but to know that there is going to be a future and I will be looked after – I like that.

Psalm 139:1-3: O LORD, you have searched me and you know me.You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.You discern my going out and my lying down;you are familiar with all my ways.

– To know that God knows everything is amazing and scary at the same time, but to know that someone is in control is a great thing to realise. Especially when they know what you are able to do and give you the power to do it.

Over the last 10 weeks theres been a local event named Just 10, I’ve wrote about it here but its been a truelly local opertunity to see around 5,000+ people coming together and worship God together.

Peace within Dispair and Pain

Posted on by JC

A peace within some walls on an estate of dispair and pain. Driving around feeling unsafe, walking into a building of peace. Children from the estate coming in, joining with worship, singing and enjoying their time.

Small groups meeting, talking, listening to music – reflecting on what God has to do in the area.

Last night I went over to Hartlepool where I went to an event I saw advertised on Facebook. It was a small church with a vision to see people coming together. Things have not gone quite exactly as expected – it was thought that many from the church membership would come when infact it seems kids and people from the estate are coming which was not planned but welcomed.

I found out when I got there, that it was a church of some of my friends I’d lost contact with a while ago and they were the ones running it all. I met with them and made a lot of new friends at the same time.

It is currently just a small group of people meeting in a church on an evening [all the last week] coming to pray, and worship and listen to see what God has in store for them. Quite amazing to see, althou not many as yet its certainly a posative start that could change their world.

They are running for the next weekday nights aswell restarting Monday 30th June 2008 and a worship night on the saturday… Starts at 7:30pm.

Website: http://www.wvbc.org.uk/

Start at home & work outwards – Together we can do it all

A change of direction?

Posted on by JC

What is it that makes us live life, and what is living? Is it doing a job, dreaming of another existance, following your dream, finding a passion?

I am trying to work out what my dream for life is… I don’t know at the moment. I know I’m currently not doing what I really want to be doing. I am in a comfortable place – easy to allow life to keep going and me go nowhere.. But to exist.. thats all i’m doing – allowing life to pass me by while still working, living and being here.

What makes me really happy – Friendships make me happy, I love making friends happy by talking and being with them and supporting them but feel there is so much more out there.

I’ve always done IT stuff, its what I have the ability to do but is it what I want to be doing? not sure on that point anymore. I like the web development I do, making things appear from an idea into a world that many can see but would rather be out in the world helping in some way than say behind a screen typing away.

I’ve taken a few days out of the work world to sit, read, talk, and try to discover a little more about what makes me happy.

Why did that happen?

Posted on by JC

I’ve cut some of this post from some email someone sent me just at a time when I was thinking – Why did that do that? I didn’t tell it to do that.. why is it happening…

Every event in our world has a seed. If life appears chaotic, random and disordered, it’s only because we cannot perceive the process of cause and effect at work. In other words, we see the tree, but not the seed.

This lack of perspective leads people to live under the illusion that things happen suddenly. They don’t. They can’t. Nothing occurs suddenly. An oak tree never just appears on our front lawn. A seed is always planted first.

If there is something in your life right now that you want to get rid of, you must first accept the principle that you, yes, you, planted the seed somewhere in your past. No matter how random the event appears to be there are no accidents in life. There is only order; cause and effect; action and reaction. I’m not talking about how the matrix film does but basically its the same

Can you imagine if you plant a positive seed by becoming accountable and taking responsibility for one thoughtless, selfish action you committed in the past. Can you imagine the difference life could be? I mean, really?

If I could think what it was that I did in the past that got me into this in the first place that would help but nevermind – i’m sure it’ll come to mind at some point.

Life from school times

Posted on by JC

Over the past few weeks I’ve been finding people I knew from school times. A lot has changed since then but then was 1995 so its not really such a suprise things have changed and actually I’m thankful they have.

At school I was always a very shy person, not wanting to really be noticed – just left to get on with things but had a small group of friends I got on with and still now after 13 years or so still get on and meet up regularly with.

I never even imagined at school that i’d go to university, college yes – that was what was expected but to get into uni and do a course I wanted too that I didn’t even consider an option when leaving school – How life changed and I’m so thank ful that is has.

Confidence has grown, friendships have been great. Education has helped and provided me a job I can enjoy with people I get on with.

I’ve connected over the last few weeks with lost friends, some from the tutor groups, some from friends of past and some I’ve met but never really knew more than what was said in passing.

Its been really good so far to see how people have changed – through their writings, their photos, their interests and contact. Thanks to all that have done that – some of you may be reading this now. 🙂

I’m really thankful to all who contact, to learn from our past can help us feel where we are – to see how far we’ve come or gone off the path that we felt we were on.

The Camera [Fuji F100FD]

Posted on by JC

I’ve wanted a camera for a long time. One that was not part of a phone, one that I could easily take pictures with in whatever light I’m in and it work out whats best and just take the picture. I think i’ve found one now, it cost me around Ă‚ÂŁ150 but seems to do what I want it to do.

so far out of the pictures I’ve taken only about 3 have not came out and thats mainly been because I clicked the button at the wrong place and took nice pictures of the grass. I’ve taken around 60 so far so not too bad going.

The camera is a Fuji F100FD or something like that – its a 12MP camera – why I need an image that big I’m not really sure, but could capture something far away I guess. I’m not totally sure. I got the silver version – you could get black but I liked the shiney one more.


Fuji F100FD

A 512MB Card is not really enough to hold many pictures or video on it – it got around 70 pictures on the card but I did also have other files on there too so could have had more if i’d wiped the card first. I’ve ordered 3x 4GB cards and a few spare batteries for it. You can always guarantee you’ll run out of either space or power when it comes to camera so i try to be prepared.Pictures… Well I should get round to adding a picture gallery or something to here then I could show you.

I’ve enjoyed seeing lots of pictures of peoples lives of growing up and changes they are going through, I see quite a few groups of friends update pictures almost on a weekly basis and I think… Where are mine – I don’t really have any pictures of me doing anything.. I always thought there was pictures, but I seem to always be outside the focus…

Now, that can change, I can start to record a little of what life looks like and how it changes over time so I can see the changes and enjoy them in the future too.

Just 10 – Old Truths Changing Lives

Posted on by JC

Just 10 is a set of ten weeks about the 10 commandments in reverse order. Its running in gateshead on Tuesday nights and stockton at preston park on a wednesday night. I’ve been to the first 5 as an attendee and the second set I’m helping with the stewarding on the doors.

Website link: http://www.just10northeast.org.uk [opens new window]

Going to the event was good, the general running is:

  • 18:30 People start coming in
  • 19:30 Event starts
    • Sing time [worship]
    • Intro and an interview
    • Bit more singing
    • Talk
    • End with singing
  • 21:30 Event ends – People go home

Whole thing is around 2 hours long in reality and is informative and a nice look on things in a different way to how I’ve looked at them before.

Stewarding has been enjoyable too, I’ve made a lot of new friends in it from just mixing with people, talking and helping out. We’ve had mixed weather from boiling gorgeous sun to drenching pour down rain but still lots of people coming. Around 5,000 each week we’ve been told.

I’d like to see more people there but people don’t seem to come – I invite them but never seem to see them. I hope you come – Preston Park, Stockton, 19:30 start wednesdays Only on til 25th June now.

Video Intro about it all


Can we make a change to home?

Posted on by JC

I sit in comfort while many don’t even have a bed to lay on. I know I seem to have my own issues with debts that seem to overcome me but I still have a home, clothes to keep me warm, a car to get me places and a job to help keep it all together.

What can I do? I see places where I can donate money – but that can help up to a point where I can’t afford too and will run into more debts… I want to know what I can do – an action, to help people rather than just sit behind a cash amount and call it doing something.

Its something i’ve considered a few times, but never done anything about it. I’ve always done the charity contributions and felt that was making a difference but I want to help with a cause and not just be financial contributer which I find difficult to keep up.

Will anything happen, I honestly don’t know… Guess we’ll see in time… I mean where do I start…

Wherever I look online it seems to refer me elsewhere or give me documentation that is years out of date or is not for anywhere close. I’d like to start at home town and work from there – I’m more likely to stay committed if its close by and can see some of the results of actions taken.

Not knowing what those actions could be or how things are done. I read of annual christmas things where people are helped but I’ve never been involved… Do I need qualifications to help? I don’t know really – Where do I start? Who do I work with? General group, a church maybe? I honestly do not know but its certainly something to look into.

Danced It

Posted on by JC

So I tried it, and I’m loving it – Not sure if i’m really doing any good but its a lot of fun. I try to do Ball Room dancing of sorts which is very interesting, extreamly confusing and I’m only in the Absolute beginners class…

I went alone, arrived first week to realise everyone else was in couples – always something to worry about, I did ask if it was a couples only thing or not and was told it would be fine on my own… That was interesting if a little off putting however it was kewl as I got put with the female dance teacher who has helped me a lot over the several weeks I’ve been there.

The course is over 10 weeks in total, or 13 if you include all the breaks with bank holidays in place. There is a variety of dances we’ve been learning and the names all confuse me… I need to watch for a minute to see which one were doing before going for it… once doing it I think i’m doing ok – its a lot more energetic than I envisioned it but so much fun.

Something I considered doing for years but never really went for as wondered what people may think, now its another angle of life something totally different to anything else I’ve done and finding something new like that is just excellent.

I now think to myself and tell others that if there is something you want to try you should go for it, try it out – people may comment but does it really matter – if your happy and find something that gives you joy – why shouldn’t you do it… As long as your not harming others, you should go for it in my opinion.

Its been a while

Posted on by JC

Its certainly been a while since I last updated this place and now is as good a time as any. I’ve been quite busy in life so busy I can’t remember what i’ve done or what I need to do – I should really keep those check lists and work through them – at least then I can see some progress if only slowly.

How can it be difficult to keep a blog up to date – I mean its just writing what you think at a time – I generally write notes then add a load of entries at once if you’d not realised already.

I’ve had contact with an old friend recently, it seems to be happening more and more now – things like Facebook seem to help quite well but this one i’ve not seen in the past 8 or 9 years and we used to be best of friends. She moved house, up north and I lost contact – got to meet up again and see and talk face to face… Email just isn’t enough sometimes. She isn’t on facebook yet but theres always time.