Thoughts

Dreamland – Fun yet dangerous with the occasional kickback (pt1/2)

Posted on by JC

There was what seemed to be a town, like a giant themepark – everywhere there was something to do: be it a show or event somewhere, a ride to go on, a stall to play at or a place to eat at aswell as street theater all around me.

Down one road it felt very dark, it went into a shopping centre with all grey closed shutters and down a hill. At the top of the hill there was an open market stall with veg, and fruit and a girl behind the counter serving and looking oddly towards me when I started to head down the hill. I felt uncomfortable and it was as thou you were diving into an unknown danger – I headed back up and into the central area – the whole atmostphere felt better and happier again.

There was a lot of shows on, for almost anything imagined I recall but don’t remember what they were – just remember that everything seemed covered in some way or uncovered in many ways. You had the choice to be an audience member or actually get up and have a go at anything. It was fun, scary, entertaining and rewarding.

There were loads of people around me, they seemed familure but at the same time unknown to me. I made friends with a few of them and we wandered around the place together.

There was an area to design your own rollercoaster and then ride it with friends, so many high sudden turns that surely were unsafe and unlikely to ever happen in the real world. It was something you designed and said you’d like and then come back and ride – kind of like waiting for a picture to be developed.

Time – it wasn’t just a few hours, it was more like around a few weeks or so had passed with the time there – even recall going to sleep and getting up and right back into the action. We often crashed out in different places after a nights entertainment.

One afternoon there was an attack… some people were running around and we originally thought it was a scene from a theater piece to find out suddenly it wasn’t as the people came towards us. They were covered with blood, cuts all over and dragging others down with them.

We ran but some people came after us with knives and we ran fast and got split up. We went up & down steps, over fences/walls and through a maze of buildings.. we looked back they seemed to be gone we kept on going and returned to the centre again to meet up again.

Continues Tommorrow

• Coming Soon: Dreams Blog

Moon

Posted on by JC

I look up to the moon and love it when there is a clear night with all the stars and a full moon. It just feels right as how things should be. Its often cold but so peaceful too.

One night I met a friend and we both just laid back close to my home, on a field that was outside of any lighting so we could see the stars – so many beautiful stars shinning in the full moon light.

It feels that there is so much out there and we are so small but the stars look small to us and in reality are huge.. what are we to the smaller things in life. How many universes are in our hands? We could hold somethings reality and never actually know it.

I like to look up at the moon, I feel a peace and seems to refresh me. I can just stop and watch. Its always better when there are others there… Best when you can just stop together, watch and listen in silence and be free… I do love it… its very simple in life, and happens ever 29 point something days but has to be clear night or little cloud.

I think the last one was around halloween, kinda good timing in an eerie kind of way. so next one is near the start of the month so about now really.

Migrane(s) yet again

Posted on by JC

I get headaches, I’ve been to the hospital to see consultant and they’ve started me on some medication that I’ve not taken for the past 7 weeks slowly increasing to a full dose. I’ve to give it 6 weeks to get into my system. I hope it will stop the headaches and especially the migranes.

At the hospital they told me I seem to have a mixture of headaches – Migrane, and a daily style one that happens to co-inside with the migranes – really knocks you out in multiple ways – sight not in focus, pain, dizzyness and dis-orientation, queezy and generally just feeling not right.

Sometimes its like a sudden pulse and hits you strong, and then gone but usually it starts as a kind of nagging pain in the back of the head moving to focus just above eyes increasing in pain to the point where its difficult to do anything. Concentration does not really exist, hard to sleep, read, watch TV/PC – you just can’t do anything.

I have a hat/cap that I put on, its a set of gel pads that are chilled that covers the eyes and seems to hit points on the head that calms the pain down a little… just enough to get to sleep – its also great if wearing contacts too long, as cools the eyes and refreshed them.

Anyhow I hope that it fixes the problem the medications – I;m not meant to drink alchol with them, but according to the NHS website it says not in first 4 weeks as can amplify effects.

First night I took first meds it made me sleepy within 45 minutes and I slept really well, after 3 days it didn’t make me sleepy but the dose went up after 2 weeks to 2.5x the original dose, and full dose was 5 times original. I don’t get sleepy quickly off them but do seem to rest well each night.

A quick change from 2am bed times to 11pm, and now normally between 12:30 and 1am… which seems a good time.

Seeing friends – meeting new people

Posted on by JC

Over the weekend i’ve met up with a friend that I’ve known a while and we decided to go into county durham and meet some of her friends. Went for a meal and to the pub quiz – which we didn’t do too bad in, which was a suprise – think its the first quiz I actually knew several answers to questions instead of one or none.

I met her friends and it was like instant relaxation and getting one with one another – thats not happened in a long time. I’ve not litterally met with people and got on right away with what was no less than hi, my name is… quick intro and head on out. It was really good.

I was glad to see her and meet more people. I often get to meet a lot of people and know a lot of people from all different things. I find it good to know people or at least start to get to know people. Its been good.

I think that I write more when I feel happy. A more eveness in the world. Not that I’ve been feeling down or anything just not especially happy either. Inspiration from happyness. I guess its more that I like to try and make people happier and its easier when your feeling in happy.

I’ve found when I see friends often I am a lot happier. 🙂

Fun Times – BTC Awards Night

Posted on by JC

On saturday night I went to a trampoline awards night for the club I’m in. Before I went I felt really nervous but couldn’t figure out why – i was shaking or at least felt I was constantly. I got there late, but just in time as my name was announced to come forward for a suprise award – basically as I was a recognised member.

I found my table, and sat with friends and people i knew. This years event was a lot better than last year. Some were drinking a lot, and fairly drunk but still standing. I was not drinking alchol but enjoyed soft drinks and watching and listening to what was happening.

Dinner was different – Half a chicken and squishy chips. The chicken was very tasty but didn’t look like it was going to be. The chips didn’t seem to have any flavour.

There was dancing, but I didn’t feel like joining in. I spoke with lots of friends and worked out who some people were that I’ve spoken with but never known who they were. At the end of the evening – I did get up to dance, it just felt right too – I did notice it was video’d but its all good… however think i was the only real tea-total one at that point on the dance floor.

I do enjoy dancing, its just random movement to music and every so often it looks like you know what your doing. I can disappear into the music so its like your on a river flowing through the notes and following an adventure route knowing roughly where its going and enjoying the ride.

It was a good night. I really enjoyed it.

A Dream – Its all OK

Posted on by JC

Last nights dream was interesting, I recall being out with people and seeing a friend thats been ill in hospital. I’ve not heard how they have been doing althou enquire every other day. But it felt like a sign, that they are reaching out and saying its all going to be okay – I know that I pray that they are.

I awoke with words in mind, not just once but twice – in my dream I woke and wrote it down, and then re-awoke realising that I’d not actually wrote it down.. maybe it was to remind me to remember – somethings need to be said multiple times to make you realise.

When we grow up
we are all just still kids
but then in adult suits looking around

We are all multiple – not just one
He is a father, and yet a child
She is a mother, and a nurse
We are all someone, and something else

Maybe it means something, it brought a kind of peace over me and althou looking at it now seems confusing – I know that it made perfect sense.

Just an Update

Posted on by JC

Recently I’ve felt odd, that there is more that I can do but not feel that I can at the same time. Today has been good. I’ve been feeling a change and more posative. I’ve not written here in quite a while.

It’s not that I don’t have anything to say, more so that I don’t know how to explain everything that I want too and I seem to be most inspired to write while I should be asleep. Often I dream that I have written it down and then find its not there and have to re-remember it again.

Holidays – 5.6 weeks?

Posted on by JC

Did you know that if you work in the UK you are entitled to 5.6 weeks holiday a week even if your only working part time. That can include bank holidays but doesn’t always – you should check your contract. I didn’t realise it but found it while researching something for holiday time off.

Government Business Website Link:
http://www.businesslink.gov.uk/bdotg/action/layer?topicId=1079427399

Using calculations from:
http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Employment/Employees/Timeoffandholidays/DG_10034642

For a normal working week (37.5 hours)

Hours: 37.5 * 5.6 = 210 Hours
Days : 5 * 5.6 = 28 Days

Seems you get around a month off annually which sounds like a lot but probably doesn’t quite work that way so well. It was effective from the start of the financial year – April 2009.

Sell off – The plan

Posted on by JC

I’ve discovered I have a load of stuff I’ve not used in years, and piles of cables and bits I will probably never use again.

So I will be at some point sorting all the bits and selling them – hopefully helping clear two things at once: Having a clearer room/boxes and making some money ready for Christmas.

So where do I sell things? I know of ebay – but there are so many fees involved from posting an auction, to selling fees, and then transaction fees if using paypal so where else could I sell things?

Wardrobe Build

Posted on by JC

I had fun the other weekend attempting and successfully building a wardrobe with dad. It took us a few hours to put together and thankfully it fitted into the space we had with around 8 cms to spare… so its not coming out anytime soon.

There isn’t as much room in this one as my old one but it looks a lot nicer and fits into my room nicely. However now i need to find new homes for all the bits I had everywhere and its not an easy task.

But I was thankful for the help as there is no chance i’d have managed that on my own, nevermind the moving of it – the actual build needed more than one person and the instructions were a little crazy as are all instructions.